Why I Teach

About a year into teaching and reading “yoga books” I stumbled across a quote from Judith Lasater in Living Your Yoga that has by turns puzzled and inspired me.  Judith says,

“I teach for myself and practice for my students.”

Back in April of 2010, when I first blogged about that quote, I didn’t quite get it. I knew the words were important (obviously, as they have stuck in my subconscious for the past two years!) but I wasn’t sure if they were true for me. Instead, the reverse was reality: I practiced for myself and I taught for my students. My time on my mat was for me and my time in front of the class was for them. Yet those words stayed in the back of my brain for 22 months, germinating and waiting to blossom.

It was during a sunny, winter morning home practice when it finally clicked what Judith was talking about. It was a subltle but major internal shift as I worked a little deeper into a tall twist.

My practice is ALL ABOUT my students.

I practice for them. I practice so that I can be the best teacher I can be. When I teach, that time is for me, to speak from my heart to my heart … and if I’ve got a solid practice behind it, that heart is wide open with every opportunity to connect to the five, ten, fifteen, sometimes twenty-five or more hearts in the room.

Teaching is when I find my grace. When faith and trust in my own ability to heal surfaces. It’s frightening and wonderful gift. Judith, you are so spot on!!

My practice is for my students.

My teaching is for me.

Happy 31st!

30 was an incredible, awesome, wonderful year!

And, as my horoscope from the other days leads  me to believe, 31 is going to be even better!

Happy birthday, me!

Permission to Sit

Sometimes you just gotta sit.

From March of 2011 to February 2012, I’ve attended four major yoga workshops: “Functional Anatomy for Yoga Teachers” with Ellen Heed, “Authentic Teaching” with Sue Jones and Alex Amorosi, I received my Reiki I certification in November, and just completed the five week “Advanced Teaching Concepts” with Jacqui Bonwell. It has been a year of intensive learning and self-reflection.  I have dug deep and discovered a lot. I have spent more time thinking about yoga and about teaching than I ever thought possible.

A few months ago I read this great book by David Richo and this one sentence has stuck to me like a burr:

“Practice does not mean forcing yourself to improve, but rather trusting your potential to open”

My brain and heart are so full from all that I’ve learned in the past year and now is the time to put it all into practice: to live it, be it, tweak it, and trust the process of my own practice to begin to integrate what I’ve absorbed.

This will be a first for me since I’m not much one to just metaphorically sit. I like answers, action, DOING something. I love learning. If I could be a university student for life (on someone else’s dime!) I totally would. Taking classes, being exposed to new ideas, and the process of learning really gets me going. In my enjoyment of learning, I get so caught up in the process that I have never allowed myself to be with what I’ve learned. I’ve spent years forcing myself to improve through classes, but never trusted the wisdom that comes from sitting with what I’ve learned.

Starting today, I am giving myself full permission to SIT.

I am going to sit the eff down with all I’ve learned about teaching, yoga, anatomy, healing, energetics, and myself. I will trust myself to open, I will let myself be, and I will let time and experience be the integrator. I will mull, marinate, practice, and feel. I will move with what I’ve learned, practicing it on my mat and in my teaching. This is going to be a whopping big challenge … one that I’m really looking forward to!

As any yoga teacher knows, the great irony of teaching is finding the time to actually practice.  Getting to a studio is not always possible and, until recently, I wasn’t much of a home practice gal. However, I’m feeling the itch and urge to GET ON MY MAT. It’s pretty obvious that my brain’s got a lot to work out and getting feet down (or bum down) on a sticky mat is the best place for that to happen.

This past year has been a diverse, rich, and utterly delicious multi-course feast. Now it’s time to push away from the table and digest it all.

A Month in Books: January 2012

Seriously rough reading mojo this month. I put two books down, unfinished and the ones I finished, with a few exceptions, were pretty blah. However, The Night Circus saved me from giving up completely. It’s not a perfect book, but the blend of magic realism, history and romance was exactly what I needed to start climbing up out of my slump.

As always, links take you to my full review on Goodreads.com